Situated on an angle in the corner of our dining room, it holds a lot of bottles. Light-colored slats of wood are filled with Gnarly Head, 7 Zins, Menage a Trois, and Freakshow. All red wines waiting to be joined by my favorite, Earthquake, the bottles and wine rack are artifacts of how we change. The wine rack was an unexpected, underappreciated Christmas present in 2009. At the time, I was learning how to co-parent with Jason, finishing my National Board Certification in Early Adolescence English-Language Arts, raising a spunky Sophie (age 5) and pondering Penelope (age 3), seeking purchase in adult friendships and exploring who I was and who I wanted to be. Interesting how much of this list remains the same over a decade later, but the difference rests in the wine rack. You see, like many Christmas’ before, I did not ask for a wine rack. I did not want a wine rack. I did not see value in the wine rack. I was not a wine drinker. Sure on occasion, I would sip some Martini Rossi Asti sparkling wine with my childhood boyfriend, Jon, but I was 178-degrees from a wine connoisseur. In short, wine was not my jam. So you can imagine that I was less than impressed and somewhat confused when the unwrapped wine rack showed up in the corner of my home at 720 Apache Dr. in Gretna, Nebraska. Jon had purchased it for me. Years later, I do not remember exactly why he thought it was a good idea or if I even asked him the rationale for the gift, but what I do remember is how I felt. Like many Christmas’ before, this wine rack was like the typewriter that my parents purchased for my sister slapping my name next to hers on the gift tag. It was the Cabbage Patch kid doll that matched the other three under the Christmas tree when all four of us kids received one. Did I want one? No. Did I want to be fed? Yes. Years of presents that confirmed that people did not care about me came to mind as I studied the blonde-colored, empty wine rack. Does anyone really know me? Do people care about me? Self-doubt manifested itself in a stream of conscious questions about my worth, my value, my significance. Then, it occurred to me that it is very difficult for others to know me if I do not know myself. What would be my perfect gift? What gift might capture the essence of me and my interests? This year, in 2019, I purchased it for myself.
We change. When I noticed the advertisement with the red wine that started it all, I knew it was the perfect gift for myself. My love affair with red wines, 7 Deadly Zins, was on sale for $7.77 per bottle after a rebate. 7 Zins was often enjoyed with Tom in 2014 and 2015 when we went on dates to The Upstream on pizza and pint night, downing barbecue
chicken pizza without mushrooms and Greek pizza with extra Asiago to go on top. Our conversations and connection during those dates are some of my favorite memories in our history. Reflecting on this memory, I decided that I would purchase a case of 7 Deadly Zins and paired it with a case of Menage a Trois. While 7 Zins is somewhat bold, Menage a Trois is a red blend that is an easy wine to help others transition from sweeter, white wines into red ones. When we travel to Eleuthera, Menage a Trois is the safe bet for a red wine that doesn’t taste like warm grape juice left in a sippy cup in the back of a car on a July afternoon in the midwest. It is adequate and economically-priced. Each bottle, after rebate, was only $4.95. (Fun Fact: When in the Bahamas, this $5 bottle of wine is available for $22.95 at Big La’s, a liquor store in Gregory Town, Eleuthera.) My choice to gift myself with two cases of wine is evidence of my continued evolution and self-awareness.
What buying two cases of wine taught me about myself…
- I have changed.
- I am learning me.
- I like red wine.
- I like certain types of red wine.
- I like to make smart decisions with money.
- I like to be thrifty.
- I like practical, consumable gifts.
- I can buy something without seeking permission.
We do not have to wait for others to nourish and fill our desires. We can self-advocate and make decisions that feed our minds and hearts with what puts us at our best.*
*Note: This isn’t about the wine putting me at my best…it is not about the wine. Watch this and have a laugh!
drjlcook1 